Sunday, April 12, 2009

My husband forgot out anniversary.....?

It%26#039;s out 7th year anniversary and he (my husband) is notorious about remembering days - but his birthday was 2 days ago and he knew our anniversary was coming up... and he did nothing... planned nothing.... nothing....





It has been a rough year, we have moved around a lot - away from home to a place we hate, and have been fighting more this year then the last few years... and especially the last 6 months since we have moved to Vegas have been really tough.





Lately there has been external stress as well.





So needless to say, this anniversary was a big thing for me - because it was a time for us to reaffirm our feelings. Since he did nothing, planned nothing - not even a flower or anything - it makes me think there is something else going on.... not cheating, but just something. I don%26#039;t know what to think...





I asked him just now and he says I am over reacting - that he is not like that. But he also didn%26#039;t even reaffirm me with an %26quot;I love you%26quot;.





What would you think/do?

My husband forgot out anniversary.....?
Hi...you know what give it some more time before doing anything drastic.Two years ago my husband got me nothing for any of the holidays except x-mas...it was not like him at all.This is the kind of guy who brings me my favorite flowers every week or two.I never thought he cheated either but I knew something had to be wrong because he really wasn%26#039;t himself.We were having a rough year and it just got hard to be sentimental when things aren%26#039;t going so good so he just ignored the holidays like valentine%26#039;s day..etc..See when things are a little weird we women need the affection or the confirmation of love from our guys to make us feel like it will all be okay.MY husband said he felt like less of a man because he couldn%26#039;t afford extravagant gifts that year...and i think he ignored the sentiments we love to receive because he felt less of a man...the only thing that truly makes me happy is a simple card that says i love you...if your sweetie never forgot before and this year has been so tough try to let it go for now.He could be feeling inadequate about many things.Guys always work things out much more different than us.I know your feeling hurt but put it aside right now and relax and just try to be his friend,,,the sweetie he married.I have been married 20 years ....not always easy but worth the effort.Good luck and i truly hope your marriage works out.
Reply:it has to work both ways you could have done something to it is not just the mans problem anymore. i suggest you go get some flowers make a special dinner turn down the lights aand have some fun.
Reply:give him time to ajust. I have to say though did he forget your aniversary or just do nothing like you said he must have alot on his mind
Reply:So what?


It%26#039;s enough you live happily on day to day basis.


Special days are not important as every day is a special day.
Reply:I would think the same thing you are thinking; that he doesn%26#039;t love you as much as you love him. Or worse, that he doesn%26#039;t love me at all anymore. I think he%26#039;s just too comfortable and a little bored right now. Spice things up if it%26#039;s worth it to you because guys don%26#039;t seem to respond/change much from talking. They seem to need action and for some reason (boredom?familiarity?) he isn%26#039;t treating you like he wants to keep you. He knew how important this anniversary was to you so he should have respected that. Actually it should have meant just as much to him! So as far as what you should that%26#039;s really up to you. Was his doing this something that affects the way you feel about him or view him? Act according to how you feel. There are a million possibilities for what you can do but only you know what buttons to push or how to make him feel bad. Either way you do it good luck. Happy Anniversary!!~~
Reply:Human makes error... and every humanbeing makes some or the error in life ... even you might have made some error ......... right ????? So forgive him ... he is ur loving hubi right ............ To punish some one ...every one can do it easily .... but to forgive someone ... u should have a big heart ..... right
Reply:If you wanting reaffirming, you should have made plans. Sounds like he is too stressed to have given it much thought. Men don%26#039;t put as much stock in anniversaries as women do. It is better to talk to him more about what you want than be disappointed when he doesn%26#039;t know.
Reply:OOOOhhhhhh honey! This to say the least is not a good thing. I%26#039;ll admit that men stink when it comes to dates. But if in the past he always remembered then this year he does nothing your need a serious talk. SOMETHING is wrong. Men like to say that woman are the ones who always put so much stock into dates and anniversaries. Bull. If he always remembered in the past and forgets now than something is going on. If you know its not another woman. (and believe me you%26#039;d know) then he%26#039;s got something else on his mind and you have to find out what that is. Talk to him. Weather he%26#039;s in the mood or not. Confront him! If there is one thing I want to teach woman in this world is to have a back bone. Have some balls! If you want an answer from your man or anyone. Corner them and accept nothing but the truth. I am a strong independent and some would say %26#039;ruthless%26#039; female. I%26#039;m more like a man than most men. I don%26#039;t accept crap from anyone. If I feel somethings wrong I stop at nothing to find the root of the problem. It may not be what your imagination is telling you but at least you%26#039;ll know. Go for it girl! You deserve it!
Reply:You could have come up with something also. This is partly your fault.
Reply:did you get him a gift?





it would have been nice if you would have reaffirmed your love yourself. give -him- flowers and a card.





sounds like he needs a little sumpm sumpm to show him you still love him.





have a nice day.
Reply:He is an a$$!


Forgetting your anniversary or acting like it didn%26#039;t happen...thats a buncha b.s!


Talk to him...but really....it makes me sick to think he didn%26#039;t even acknowledge it....!!


Also, not an %26quot;I Love You%26quot;....I%26#039;m sorry but that woulda pushed me off the edge...


Talk. Listen. Look at it from his point of view.


Don%26#039;t take that kinda treatment though...ok? Ok. Good Luck..


Happy Anniversary!
Reply:as you said, there was a lot of stress involved. he forgot. okay, men are pron to do that once in awhile. comedians base their entire monologes on men forgetting and what we women do to these forgetful men. breathe. it is not the end of the world. next time, remind him yourself. send him an e-mail the day before or even a week before with a suggestion on something to do together on that special day. take it uopn yourself to surprise him once in awhile with your own plans. i know one day my husband will forget. and for that one day i%26#039;ll have to buy a cast iron skillet to hit him over the head to remind him (okay, i%26#039;m kidding). actually, i am the one more likely to forget. so i make an extra effort to remind myself such as a reminder on my phone, a computer calendar, something, anything!! even if it means celebrating it at 12am just to be the first to say happy birthday or happy anniverary. it doesn%26#039;t always have to be him. don%26#039;t make the responsibility be all on his shoulder. learn to coplan. it%26#039;s not that bad.
Reply:he must have alot in his mind, forgive him for the first time and have fun.
Reply:Happy Anniversary!!





Men are dingbats when it comes to dates and feelings and all sorts of things that mean a lot to us women. I have been married to my husband for 7 %26amp; 1/2 years.


ONCE I got a flower and a teddy bear on Valentines Day. I was so impressed that I was speechless! Then I just had to burst out laughing when he told me that his boss at work gave them to all the workers. Dingy!!! He could have left me thinking that he did Something on this special day!





Anyway, instead of being sulky about it, I have started taking the special day matters into my own hands. I write down the dates on a calendar and I program them into his call phone. I also start asking about a week in advance, %26quot;Where do you want to take me for my birthday?%26quot;





That%26#039;s what I do anyway. I want to have my special days special. But I%26#039;ll tell you what - even though we love each other dearly and we are best friends, I can%26#039;t MAKE that man buy flowers. Go figure!
Reply:thats low...u may have 2 surprise him get him in the mood again sum guys think that after a long time being together u don%26#039;t have to do anything anymore. He probably thinks u know he%26#039;s in love with u and why should he have to tell u over and over...u should get him in the mood again surprise him and c what happens..cheers
Reply:talk to him. Your both stressed so communication without taking it out on each other is the key.
Reply:I think he is under some extreme pressure to please not only you but your child as well.


Try to lighten up. Men forget, women forget. It isn%26#039;t the end of the world. As to why he planned nothing, from the sounds of it he knew you had gone to huge lengths to plan something %26amp; was being thoughtful in not taking away from you something that was improtant to you.


Also it sounds as if there is financil trouble too, %26amp; it doesn%26#039;t take Einstien to notice that if you are short of cash, then buying extravegant things is a waste, Do you relise he actually may have given you an affirmation that you didn%26#039;t even acknowledge ( in know my hubby %26amp; I have similar converations %26amp; it comes around that I was ignoring him when he tried to do or say something important to me)


Talk to him ask him his opinion %26amp; see what he says Tell him how you feel %26amp; what you need from him ask if he has anything like that he needs (you might get a pleasant suprise)


The dogdegirl62 is right on as well. Has some excellant advise
Reply:I don%26#039;t know what your husband%26#039;s personality is like but my husband is a very caring and loving husband, we have been married for 16 years and both love each other very much BUT... if I wait for him to plan something, I will never get to do anything! I make all the plans and even though I don%26#039;t get to enjoy surprises or the special unexpected or expected events or things that would come, I do make sure I plan the things that I would like to do. I plan my birthdays and other holidays. I get so much freedom because I always get things my way because I%26#039;m planning it. If I don%26#039;t plan something, he never notices a thing. Sometimes I even plan things just for him, like music concerts or sports for him to go to with his friends or one of the kids, he wouldn%26#039;t go otherwise.
Reply:Vegas is Sin City after all. When people move to new places, they meet new faces.
Reply:I%26#039;m married almost 31 years... I have to say most of those years were filled with a lot of unbearable despair and pain for me-- not caused directly by him, but we were just unlucky in our life. Though he never forgot entirely our anniversary- he always had a card at least and of course I love you and out to dinner whether the same night or another-- mine chooses to downplay my birthday- I find that more important than our anniversary because that is MY day-- he has never thrown me a party- he has had at least 4 or 5 biggies that I had for him, and I don%26#039;t believe in the day before, after or any other day than that DAY as the day you celebrate--which he also doesn%26#039;t feel is important......men are funny, and don%26#039;t relate to things like we do.. since you said this was a really tough year, I assume money is tight and depression comes with tough years---let him slide on this one-- he%26#039;s still with you, you both had a lot of moves this year- which I KNOW is traumatizing in and of itself--but watch him - you say you live in vegas-- not a great city for relationships-so just keep an eye on your money- your cell phone bill phone numbers, who%26#039;s he calling and who%26#039;s calling him, his night outs- etc. you get my drift- I think everything is OK but better safe than sorry.... and by the way, don%26#039;t say I love you to him until he says it to you and see how long it takes, and did you do something special for his birthday? because if you didn%26#039;t that may be why he%26#039;s ignoring your anniversary- men really aren%26#039;t into anniversaries.
Reply:Kick him in the nuts. Sounds like he did it on purpose.
Reply:I think he might be depressed.





Also, many guys are NOT interested in aniversarys etc.


Some guys don%26#039;t have a romantic bone in their body. If he was like this when you met then you should of known that things get worse not better when married.








Guys just don%26#039;t get it. They can spend a few seconds a day and make their partnres happy. Here guys I will give you some ideas ......


Ten second kiss at least once a day.


One meaningful hug a day.


Say at least one compliment a day


Look in to her eyes and truely listen to what she is saying





Your frustration fuels his wanting to withdraw
Reply:Wow...i don%26#039;t know what to say, and i definately won%26#039;t say anything b/c i don%26#039;t want you to do or think anything that might be wrong and that might ruin your relationship. Try talking to him more and try getting closer to him =/
Reply:Well, anniversary is a HUGE thing for women, so I don%26#039;t think you%26#039;re overreacting at all. I%26#039;d also think there%26#039;s something going on, too, if my husband were to forget our anniversary. (No, I%26#039;m not married at the moment, but I%26#039;d feel that way, if I were married.) Especially if he didn%26#039;t reassure you somehow or apologize for forgetting, I%26#039;d definitely feel crushed. What I would do is just tell him that anniversary meant a lot to me, and I would like it if he didn%26#039;t forget it in the future, and to do something special for me to reaffirm that he loves me still. I%26#039;d ask him if he could do that for me. Guys are not mind readers, and they%26#039;d rather be told specifically what to do. Tell him it hurts your feelings when he forgets special days like anniversary or birthday, and you%26#039;d like him to make special efforts to remember these days. He can certainly put them on his calendar to remind him of the days. Just be honest with him, and if he still loves you, then he%26#039;ll do something about it to please you.
Reply:Well what did you do? An anniversary celebration is not one-sided and maybe he need you to make the effort to make it romantic rather than expecting him to plan everything. I%26#039;m not blaming you, I think you need to reignite the fire that made you get together in the first place-and it sounds like he needs you to do it too...
Reply:Give the guy a break! An anniversary is no big thing. If it is the 10th, 25th or 50th maybe. It sounds like he has a lot of much more important thinks on his mind that a 7th anniversary.





What can you do? If you are concerned about it, make him a nice dinner, light a couple of candles and have a little anniversary dinner a day late. Tell him you love him even though times have been a little rough this last year.
Reply:I would confront him again and let him know you really are serious!!! Don%26#039;t let what ever might be going on happen any further. If he does not tell you he loves you theres something going on in my words.





I would go to a friends house for one day and let him think about how he misses you, you deserve for someone to be special to you, remember that. I would believe after a day of you being gone he will be crawling back to you with flowers.





Hope you the Best
Reply:generally, most women plan murder so i might suggest you look into this



nanny

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