1st anniversary of a close family members death ?

we are going to the church in the morning and then up to the crematorium in the afternoon , we will be taking flowers with us is their anything else we can do to honour their memory





please kind answers only its a difficult time thanx xxx

1st anniversary of a close family members death ?
First let me express my most sincere condolences on your loss. My only sibling died in the summer of 2000, and I remember very well what the pain was like on the first anniversary of his death.





One of the things we did that day (I also did it last year on the first anniversary of the death of one of my dearest friends) was buy a bunch of balloons. We all wrote notes saying the things we had wished we had said earlier, when there was still time. We tied them to the strings of the balloons and let the balloons go. There was something almost cleansing about letting those balloons and their messages go. It didn%26#039;t make the pain any better, but it did give some comfort.





As for the children, you%26#039;d have to check with the cemetary (I am presuming the ashes are interred at a normal cemetary, either in one of those special vaults or in the ground). I know that in my area, you are allowed to leave almost anything you like at a burial place. One thing I see a lot this time of year when I go to where my grandparents are buried is Christmas things, like wreathes or other decorations. One year, I also saw a sprig of mistletoe with a lovely note on it asking those who saw it as they passed by to remember to give their loved ones a kiss, as we never know when we might lose them.





If the cemetary or mortuary allows it, I would let the children decide what they would like to leave. Explain to them that it should be something small, and something which they think your family member might like. I, myself, used to always take candy canes and chocolates to my sister-in-law%26#039;s grave, as she loved sweets.





I know you said that you had a rose bush planted, but might I suggest that you also plant one in your own garden? That is my mother%26#039;s practice, and it is really a lovely reminder when you see your plant blooming. At our old house, she had a rose bush for her mother, and a berry bush for her father, because he loved berries with cream.





I do truly wish there was some way for me to soothe your pain, but I know from experience that time is the only thing which makes it bearable. Hang in there, and I promise you that one day it won%26#039;t hurt quite as badly as it does right now.





Be well.





Bronwen
Reply:I%26#039;m crying with you Bex because I feel your pain - I know as I have lost both my parents and just had the anniversary of both of them. If you get this before you go I would like to say your thoughts of your loved one will reach him and just light a candle in his memory. Place a little bunch of flowers next to his photograph when you get home. He will be watching. love you Bex xxx
Reply:How about taking a nice pound cake.
Reply:One idea I really liked was planting a tree in the loved one%26#039;s name. It helps the enviornment and is a lasting tribute to the person. You can buy a plaque to put on it if you want, but just knowing there is a tree where you can go and watch it grow really helped our family. God bless all of you I hope that time will lessen your pain.
Reply:It sounds as though you have pretty much covered the things I might have thought of....I suppose I can only think of one occasion when I have been through something similar....we lost my father%26#039;s guardian in 2001....and while he was not a family member in the strictest sense, he was the nearest thing I have ever had to a grandfather...and I loved him a lot. I do remember the time around the first anniversary of his passing....all I could do was keep him and his family in my thoughts, because they all live in Yorkshire and I am in Cambridge! I did keep his family in my thoughts...especially his widow...and I kept thinking of him during that time, too...it was hard not to.





Best of luck to you.....keep your chin up....my thoughts are with you.
Reply:I will be thinking of you


xxxxx
Reply:Sorry for your loss. You could take a poem and read it at the site; bring pictures; do a Bible (or whatever religious book applies) reading; sing their favorite song; have each person relate one fond memory or tell their favorite thing about the person; have each person state one positive characteristic of the person (funny, kind, gentle, patient, etc.).
Reply:Bex you know I will understand how hard this is for you being my first Christmas without my daughter.


We are taking flowers to the crematorium and my sisters are putting a piece in local paper in her memory.


The fact you remember is honour enough to be honest it is what is on inside not material things.


Your children can leave a small gift yes they do allow it.


At my local one you can have a plaque done but it is expensive and also the funeral home did small cards for £2 which had a lovely verse on one side and her details on other to keep in purse or wallet.


My thoughts are with you and if you want a chat you know where I am.
Reply:What we did every year since my dad died 8 yrs ago is we buy a vanilla candle and we have asked our closest family members to do the same and we light it at 7am on april 5th and keep it lit till 8pm that same night the time he passed on and that way he is a little closer to our hearts too... I am sorry for your loss and may god bless and comfort u in this time of sorrow...
Reply:Will be thinking of you Bex..x
Reply:How about something like a hyacinth or poinsetta in a pot as it%26#039;s nearly Christmas too
Reply:I plant a small tree on each anniversary of my brother%26#039;s death.
Reply:My sincere sympathy to you and your family.It is difficult to have a family member die but it is especialy difficult near the holidays.I would suggest that you could make a memorial donation to the family members favorite charity.It will be a meaningful tribute that will continue to do good long after the day has passed.When my sister-in-law died we gave money to an animal rescue organization and with my parents it was the hospital for sick kids.The point is that the donation will support the charity that meant the most to your family member.You could make it an annual donation.Take care.
Reply:its sad to know u r going threw this hard time especially during the hollidays but i would fill a bunch of balloons in ur loved ones favorite colors and put a small note on one of the ballloons and release it into the sky a note of love is what i would do i wish u the best in ur time of need and hurt i wil pray for u and ur family love brandi
Reply:Do you have anything the deceased relative gave to you?





I know it may be hard to see those precious things go, but give it to her/his closest family, this is there time of need. They need those things to sooth the hurting.





I am so dearly sorry for your loss.





With kind regards,





Jake
Reply:Hi Bex, good luck with that,l know the pain-- from visiting My Babies grave. Love Jo. ((((hugs)))) and ((((Love)))) to you babe. xx
Reply:bex, i%26#039;m really sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you tomorrow. a suggestion for your kids. let them write a special message to your loved one and tie it to a helium balloon and release it at the crematorium. they will be comforted to watch it go %26#039;up to heaven%26#039;.
Reply:i know it must be hard for you, and for the rest of us who have lost, when i go to church i lite a candle say a little prayer go and sit for a while and talk to him in side my head. they%26#039;ve never left there, my dad said to me when he was poorly if anything happens to me don%26#039;t cry, think of me everyday and i will never die in your heart, (he had a vision that he was sleeping on a rocking chair and when someone thought of him he would wake and greet them with all the love in his heart so i say good morning to him he is still with me) he%26#039;s been gone 22 years. my heart feels for you think of all the good times there never far away.
Reply:Iam really truly sorry to hear that Bex,and also for all the other answers who have gone through such sad ordeals my thoughts are with them aswell.





I think what you have done sounds really sweet and also the fact your children are leaving there own personal memors is nice aswell,Iam trying to think but what you have put down sounds really caring and I can%26#039;t think of much else,Iam sure it will all help to honour the memory of that special person,just the thought in itself I think is kind.





I truly do wish you and your family all the best.
Reply:Being around friends will help you. One thing that we was comforted by was in the Bible 2nd.Corinthians 5: 6-8. It says,%26quot;Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: (For we walk by faith, not by sight:) We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.%26quot; time will heal the pain and the fond memories will last forever. take care of your selves. we are sorry for your loss.
Reply:I understand and you have my sympathy. I went through exactly the same thing recently (October 24th) which was the first anniversary of my father%26#039;s sudden passing. As a family we decided it would be better for us to not actually mark the occasion with too much ceremony. We collectively decided that the occasion was too sad and chose to celebrate his life rather than place to much emphasis on the day of his death. I personally am in the process of founding a non-profit organization that will be named for both him and my still living mother.
Reply:Bex.......I can%26#039;t say anymore than what has already been said. We%26#039;ll all be thinking of you hun. Take care xx
Reply:PLEASE %26#039;SCUSE CAPS--TYPING EZ-ER W/ DISABILITY ...THX





U %26amp; UR FAM/LOVED ONES R IN MY PRAYERS--





DUE TO SPACE--UNABLE 2 GIVE MORE/BETTER ANSWRS--





SENDING UP ENVIRONMT-SAFE BALLOONS 2GETHER, W/ ENV-SAFE RIBBONS/STRINGS W/ SYMBOLS/COLORS OF DECEASED IS SOMETHING U CAN DO--SHOP SHOULD BE ABLE 2 ADVISE BEST BALLOON 2 USE....





IT CAN SERVE AS NOT ONLY A TRIBUTE, BUT RELEASE OF UR LOVED ONE.... TAKE PIX %26amp; LATER, U CAN MAKE A POSTER, CARD, ETC OF IT...





MY BELOVED WAS FOUND DEAD 2 WKS B4 OUR WEDDING--THEIR ESTRANGED FAM WAS CONTACTED BY POLICE B4 ME %26amp; THEN WISKED AWAY REMAINS 4 CREMATION W/O CONTACT%26#039;G ME OR ALLOWING ME 2 SEE BODY...


IF U HAVE KIND WORDS/SUPPORT OR LEGAL RESOURCES HELPFUL TO MY SITUATION, PLEASE RESPOND AS U R ABLE, K? THNKS





GOD BLESS Y%26#039;ALL


I ALSO PRAY A BLESSED HOLIDAY/CHRISTMAS SEASON 4 Y%26#039;ALL !!


%26quot;THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED %26amp; SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT%26quot;...
Reply:Its sounds like you have thought of pretty much everything but the suggestions people have made about the balloons is a lovely idea especially for children.





I can%26#039;t even begin to imagine what you may be going through today but I believe Bex that whatever you and your family do today, that close family member will be watching and smiling.





Take care, chin up, hug your kids and never let them go, that%26#039;s the one thing that always gets me through a difficult time.


I%26#039;ll be thinking of you today. xx
Reply:2yrs for me but closure is Jan 3rd now.then it[ happy bumkin time.]



White Teeth